I'm rummaging through the boxes in our garage as if my life depended on it. Between all the boxes with picture frames, books and other old stuff I am hopelessly looking for the box on which is written in marker:'Nynke summer before pregnancy'. That my body would look very different after pregnancy… well. It's the understatement of the year to tell you that I hadn't even thought of that!
I've been looking forward to this moment my entire pregnancy. That summer, when I walked around heavily pregnant and saw myself as a seal rather than a flesh-and-blood person, I dreamed of next summer. I would parade slim and thin on white beaches. Shine on terraces in tight dresses. And besides, I would go crazy at parties in my high-waisted bottoms and my crop tops.
When I finally found the promising box with sweat on my forehead, I set to work full of courage. Try it on quickly and give it a place in the closet; that was the plan. What started as a simple task ended in a real mental break down. When I tried on the first pair of pants I couldn't get them past my knees. I thought positively that last summer was already tight, so far so my body didn't send any signals after pregnancy. There wasn't a speck in the air yet. But when the second, third and to make matters worse, even the fourth pants wouldn't close anymore, I started to get a bit nervous. The tears came when the tops no longer covered my entire belly. What a disappointment.
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Did I really think that my body would automatically return to the way it was after pregnancy? Like a balloon that you slowly deflate? That I wouldn't get fatter from the liters of Red Bull that I tap away against fatigue? That it wouldn't be bad for my body to skip meals and then bunker until I'm done with it? What a disappointment.
After I delivered the clothes to a Salvation Army drop-off point and finished off a bar of Tony's Chocelony, I started to feel a little better. This was partly due to the fact that this fiasco forced me to buy a whole new summer wardrobe. Well, my body has changed after pregnancy. In short; shopping!
A few weeks later I am proudly sitting at the edge of the swimming pool with my son Mees. My pear body (which was really a nice apple at first) lifted in a brand new bikini. My head is lifted and I feel surprisingly confident. Because say yourself; that potbelly and those thick thighs have ensured that I can call myself the mother of the most beautiful boy ever!!!
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