An accident is just around the corner. Also an accident. But if you're lucky, you'll get away with a scratch. Or a scar. If you look at it that way, a scar is a sign of happiness † But it is usually not seen that way. A scar, that's mutilation. It makes you ugly. Or at least:a little less perfect. Accepting your scar becomes a lot harder when your environment tells you over and over that they shouldn't be there. If you hear often enough that scars are an imperfection, how can you still accept your scar?
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When I was 7 I cycled round our French holiday village with my brother and a friend. When they dared to go down that steep mountain, of course I dared too. Only the brake pads on my children's bicycle were not sufficient. I went too hard for adjustments. And so I flew into a curb at a rotten pace. Then to be launched, over the wheel, with my head against a 500 year old wall. A hard wall. Alex, the French postman (still my and my mother's hero) picked me up. With his uniform smeared with my blood, he took me home. I was stitched up in a French hospital. Fortunately, the x-rays did not indicate any further injuries. I was allowed to go home.
And that's where it started. My mother was in seventh heaven; she almost lost her baby. I had an angel on my shoulder; she has instilled it in me over and over again. It could have ended much worse. But once back in the Netherlands, nobody talked about Engeltjes. The scar on my forehead, about 4 centimeters long; that was the topic of conversation. And not in a positive way. Although my mother still instilled in me that I had been lucky; According to a lot of people I was (and am) unlucky. Accepting your scar requires understanding from your environment. But I kept being told that it was such a waste of my head.
* But it doesn't end there
I can put it simply; I was attached to the French battle. When the Dutch GP picked the stitches out of my forehead, he didn't have a good word for it. How messy that was. We had been happy for a long time that I hadn't bled to death. But apparently that wasn't enough… After all, the eye wants something too. And the GP was not the only one who gave his opinion.
Time and again the question was asked:“Do you keep seeing that? How bad!” Against our better judgement, we smeared with creams and ointments. But my scar will never go away. Do I mind? New! But accepting your scar is not easy for everyone. Especially not if those around you actually think it's a mutilation. Do you also have trouble accepting your scar? Or does your environment have trouble with that? Then you can read tips below to deal with this.
Accepting your scar sounds easier than it is. Yet it is very important. Also from the environment. Read the story of Joyce's daughter with the scar through her eyebrow. The school photographer retouched her school photos. And photoshopped her scar away. Acceptance around scars is therefore hard to find.
Below you can read tips to make acceptance a bit easier. For yourself, and for the people around you.
Fortunately, my mother was always behind me. She has told me time and time again that I have been extremely lucky. Just until I believed it 😉 . And now, in retrospect, I realize she was right. It could have turned out much worse. And that applies to most scars.
Falling and getting up are part of life. And that can leave you scars. In my case, my scar will never go away. With that idea in mind, accepting your scar can be difficult. So try to accept your scars as part of yourself. They are part of who you are!
If your environment reacts negatively to your scars, accepting your scar becomes very difficult. But often it really isn't that bad. People are very much focused on appearance. Tell the story behind your scar. Then they will also realize that you are actually lucky, and not unlucky.
We're not there yet. In our society, the emphasis is all too often on cosmetic aspects. We have an idea of what perfection is. While accepting your scar might be a much nicer example of perfection… Or isn't it?
